Rachel Kolisi Shares Her Therapy Journey

Author, director and MC Rachel Kolisi recently opened up about some of the most difficult moments of her life during an appearance on the Shift Happens podcast with Richard Sutton.

During the heartfelt conversation, Kolisi reflected on a traumatic childhood experience and how it has shaped the way she responds to challenges and emotional situations today.

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Speaking on the podcast, she recalled a devastating school bus accident that happened when she was just nine years old.

“When I was nine years old and I was in a  school bus accident and a friend of mine passed away. Now thinking about it in this moment, I almost want to say it was a similar process to when my son was born very premature. I go into robot mode of just what needs to happen in order for me and everybody around me to continue functioning. At nine years old, I remember feeling that as well. Just go to the sessions they say to go to, go to school, carry on writing and go to your physio, go to your doctors check ups.”

Kolisi explained that, instead of fully processing what had happened, she focused on doing what was necessary to keep moving forward.

The author shared that this coping mechanism appeared again years later when her son was born prematurely. In both situations, she found herself switching into what she described as “robot mode,” concentrating on responsibilities and the needs of those around her.

However, she admitted that this approach left very little room for her own emotions.

“But there was really no space to process. What I have found about myself in a solid 18 months of therapy work is that I was a people pleaser and I would always make sure that everyone around me was okay, even at my expense. Even at nine years old I think it was very traumatic for my family and everyone that was around. They were on a trip six hours away and got a phone call that there had been a bus accident and that there’s deaths but they don’t know whose died. I think for them it was a very awful situation. And what happens for me, is I gather everybody else’s emotions, feelings, processes and I hold it and I don’t have a space to process those things and then it all bubbles out.”

Kolisi revealed that through 18 months of therapy, she has gained a deeper understanding of herself and her tendency to put the needs of others before her own. She explained that she often carries the emotions and struggles of those around her, while neglecting to process her own feelings.

Her honest reflections offered listeners a glimpse into the long-lasting effects of childhood trauma and the importance of creating space for healing. By sharing her story, Kolisi highlighted how therapy has helped her better understand her past and the emotional patterns that followed her into adulthood.

The conversation was a powerful reminder that healing is a journey, and that taking care of oneself is just as important as caring for others.