Media personality Anele Mdoda and her partner Prince Bonelela Ngubengcuka have taken another big step in their journey to marriage, as they recently completed the final stage of the lobola process. Over the weekend, social media was abuzz with photos and videos showing the couple dressed in traditional attire, celebrating with family and friends.
The ceremony, known as ukwamkelwa kwabakwenyana, is a Xhosa tradition where the groom is formally welcomed by the bride’s family. It marks an important milestone in the couple’s union, but according to Anele’s close friend, author and media personality Khaya Dlanga, it was not a wedding — yet.
“Just to clarify, what took place was not a wedding. It was the final stage of the lobola process, along with a ceremony called ukwamkela abakhwenyana, which is to say the formal acceptance of the groom by the bride’s family,” Khaya explained.
He also urged people not to confuse the ceremony with a Western-style wedding.
“(And please don’t get stuck on words like groom and bride and make them equal marriage, as in the Western tradition in this context.) In our isiXhosa custom, lobola is not a once-off payment, even if you can afford to do so. It is supposed to be done in stages and, traditionally, it is never entirely finished or completed.”
Khaya went on to say that this traditional practice helps ensure that the groom stays connected to the bride’s family and remains committed to the relationship.
“This is deliberate. It ensures that the groom remains present and committed to the union of both families, rather than disappearing once the celebrations are over.”
He explained further what the event meant in cultural terms.
“What happened was the final lobola ceremony and the moment the groom was officially welcomed by Anele’s family. In other words, ooMfene were welcoming ooMadiba.”
Although many may see this as a wedding celebration, Khaya made it clear that the actual traditional wedding has not yet taken place.
“The traditional wedding has not yet happened because it takes place at the groom’s family home. So while the couple are referred to as the bride and groom, this was not the traditional wedding itself.”
The families are now looking forward to both the traditional wedding and the civil ceremony, which will officially strengthen the couple’s union.
According to a source who spoke to TshisaLIVE, another celebration is planned for November to mark this special chapter in their journey.
With the traditional wedding still to come, this was just another beautiful chapter in their love story — and a moment rich in culture, family, and unity.
Just to clarify, what took place was not a wedding. It was the final stage of the lobola process, along with a ceremony called ukwamkela abakhwenyana, which is to say the formal acceptance of the groom by the bride’s family. (And please don’t get stuck on words like groom and… pic.twitter.com/bbLkUBtWDN
— Khaya Dlanga (@khayadlanga) April 24, 2025
