I am starting to become suicidal again.

I started dating a guy who is a bit older than me and who made a fantastic life for himself after having a crap childhood and surviving on the bare minimum throughout school. I fell hard for him and it was the first time I felt right with a guy. After dating for a few months I wanted to introduce him to the family. My mom freaked out and forbid me to see him (she is very old school, conservative and closed minded). I broke it off with him as my family is very important to me. We still spoke a lot and went out sometimes as he is very understanding and cares a lot for me…..now he has met someone new and I am happy because I wouldn’t be able to date him until I finish my degree (my mom’s idea of a compromise) . I regret the way things turned out every day of my life and my mom doesn’t seem to give a fuck for the pain she caused me. I dunno how to deal with this and I am starting to become suicidal again (3 failed attempts in the past few years)